It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
