Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize