And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
