he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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