two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
