Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
