there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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