very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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