i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
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Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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