Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
