just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
