I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
