Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she told me i tasted like america
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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