OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
