Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm too high and old for this...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize