Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
