I want to walk on stilts...naked
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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