If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
