How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
