Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?

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(805): View more from California

they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate

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(541): View more from Oregon

I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.

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(817): View more from Texas

He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...

(1-817): View more from Texas

Actually, she's fat now, so...

(817): View more from Texas

Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(651): View more from Minnesota

I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy

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(212): View more from New York

I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.

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(315): View more from New York

mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'

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(803): View more from South Carolina

That's a really terrible idea.

(734): View more from Michigan

Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..

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