would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have fence marks all over my body
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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