respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
