I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
