where am i from again
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
