Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person

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  (773) i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst. (773)SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person http://tfl.nu/tfn0
  Replies (11) Good night (1563) Bad night (2703)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  ; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up

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  (734); Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up http://tfl.nu/ecut
  Replies (4) Good night (1405) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?

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  (518): Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs? http://tfl.nu/bc57
  Replies (21) Good night (464) Bad night (1921) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.

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  (818): don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily. http://tfl.nu/2c0y
  Replies (24) Good night (3437) Bad night (528) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?

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  (815): should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here? http://tfl.nu/0w0h
  Replies (23) Good night (5044) Bad night (2121) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.

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  (312): If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab. http://tfl.nu/3osp
  Replies (7) Good night (3823) Bad night (1127) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.

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  (605): You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home. http://tfl.nu/7njn
  Replies (30) Good night (10394) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.

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  (716): I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine. http://tfl.nu/zg3z
  Replies (9) Good night (3606) Bad night (565) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?

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  (248): Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain? http://tfl.nu/gohm
  Replies (10) Good night (2422) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.

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  (707): I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched. http://tfl.nu/zef2
  Replies (5) Good night (642) Bad night (1342) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.

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  (715): I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names. http://tfl.nu/wmoo
  Replies (11) Good night (1760) Bad night (551)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?

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  (513): Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ? http://tfl.nu/6gn7
  Replies (15) Good night (435) Bad night (1561) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?

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  (613): Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like? http://tfl.nu/rl24
  Replies (8) Good night (1890) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work

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  (850): apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work http://tfl.nu/utr1
  Replies (10) Good night (941) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.

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  (714): You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie. http://tfl.nu/je5q
  Replies (10) Good night (365) Bad night (1148)

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