I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
