I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
