guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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