I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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