i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
