hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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