Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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