note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
