MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
