She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
