I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
