Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
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You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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