Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
