THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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