we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
