I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
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i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
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Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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