i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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