I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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