You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he thought i was a dude.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
