it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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