Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
