i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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