The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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