I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize