No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
