You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
