My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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