wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
