i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
