redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
