i think my mom watched the whole time
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
