He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
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The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
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She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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